Never did I think that I would get up at 3:30 AM and fill applications. But this is a different phase of life, missed out by many of my peers. While most of my friends are settled in IT companies, I felt I could not fit in there. I like using computers in a different way, to develop useful meaningful products, not keep doing changes to existing projects, over and over again. At one point I started feeling useless. I felt that I have accomplished nothing in the past 3 years, except for some social service in human and animal welfare. So here I am, planning to travel to the other end of the planet, just like that, and going to live with new people. I have applied to three colleges for Graduate programs and anxiously waiting for results. This is a big decision that I have made, but I am following my intuition and right now it tells me to go for it.
I am sad now and I don’t know why! And this blogging world sure is a lonely place. I thought I would be enthralled to be here, was dreaming during my studying days to come here and begin a new life. But now that the exams are over, here I am, absolutely clueless and unhappy. I need to sit and think why am I unhappy. Is it loneliness? Growing up into an adult? Life becoming too serious. The endless list of conflicts and problems with various people around me? Others getting hurt by me and me hurting others? I simply don’t know! But it sure does make your heart feel heavy? Sometimes I am worried if I am heading for a even more lonely life, towards a graduate program in a strange city, where I may not find good friends and will suffer in loneliness. OH GOD! The very thought of it is so scary.
Just wanted to talk here because there is no one else right now to listen.
This wonderful poem is worth mentioning in this blog! Awesome awesome awesome!! If you are wondering who Rudyard Kipling is, he is the author of the Jungle book series!
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
Past few days have been so hectic that I am longing for a nice long break. I am applying for higher studies and the whole process is strenuous. From writing the exams to getting recommendation letters, writing my statement of purpose, creating a resume, all have left me a very tired person in need of some good rest. But then, all this hard work is for something that I really want and I suppose this is how it would be when you want something so much, from your heart. Off late I am constantly getting dreams of filling my application forms, how weird is that? This is the fourth consecutive application filling dream day! I think, somehow your brain knows your innermost wants and you see them as a dream. In fact, I think our dreams are most often like looking into the ‘mirror of erised’ in harry potter. This special mirror not only shows you, but your heart’s desires as well.
When you bump into true love, you feel so blessed! You have this amazing person, this guy who loves you and wants you so much, as much as you want him. Every time you realize the love you have for him and the love he has for you, you feel so happy, thrilled, special. You keep wanting to start your future with him, plan to decorate the house, think of ways to make him happy, think of the things that you want to do with him. Above all, you feel so lucky, so lucky to have bumped into your soul mate. This feeling is so special that no words can describe it. This feeling that I have in heart now is making me feel ebullient. I love him so much and I want him and me to be the best couple in the world wide world.
Dedicated to my special someone, with hugs and kisses 🙂
PS: That picture is that of Gordo and Lizzie, best friends who end up figuring out that they are soul mates. My awesome guy reminds me of Gordo, who also happens to me the most favorite character in my life 🙂
You may be wondering, what in the world could ‘Dolce Vita’ mean? If you had not googled it already, well, Dolce Vita is a very beautiful Italian word that I came across in the movie ‘Eat Pray Love’. It means ‘Sweet Life’. I came across this concept of anonymous blogging and found it really interesting. For a person like me who hates to publicise her life, but at the same time, have a great passion to express and share my thoughts about everything on earth, anonymous blogging seemed to the perfect idea!
I also suggested this idea to my best friend who is yet to create his blog. I felt the blogging world would be a less lonely place, with him also blogging along with me. At the least, one person in the world would know my true identity. I feel it is going to be a lot of fun. I hope to meet interesting people here in the blogging world. I have been spending the last month reading various blogs, some quite interesting, some plain rants about their lives and some VERY inspiring.
I am planning to blog on a variety of categories. Let me list some of them here:
- Science – Biology, Astronomy, Zoology ( Research Stuff Included )
- Dad and Mom Lessons
- Friendship, love and life
So, lets get started? Welcome to Mystery’s Dolce Vita 🙂
PS: You can get in touch with me by mailing to email@example.com